By Chef Manen_Lyset
I never wanted to be “that guy”. You know, the controlling, overbearing, and crazy jealous dude who always worries his girl’s going to cheat on him? You see them on talk shows admitting to installing tracking software on their girlfriends’ phones, following them around town, and isolating them from their friends and families. I didn’t think I had it in me: I’m a nice, normal guy. Shana; however, brought out a bad side of me. I don’t know what it was about her. She was special. She was the love of my life, and I could see myself settling down with her. At the same time, I was so paranoid that she’d cheat and leave me, that I took…drastic measures. To put it simply, I invented a twin brother, and I had him seduce her. I mean, if she was going to cheat on me, it might as well be with me, right?
Shana and I met at a pub about half a year ago. When I saw her across the room, I swear I could almost hear a choir of angels singing above her. A pick-up line at the ready, I shyly walked over to introduce myself. Her smile temporarily made me forget how to speak, and I barely managed to produce a squawking sound. She laughed lightly, making my anxiety wash away like chalk in the rain. We talked for a bit, exchanged numbers, and eventually went on a few dates. Shana was perfect: sexy, sweet, loving, ambitious, and spunky.
It wasn’t long before Shana moved in with me. I think that’s when things started taking a turn for the worst. It was fine for the first couple of days, until I started noticing her flirting with other men behind my back, and coming home late almost every night. Every time she allegedly had to work late, I was left pacing up and down our apartment, imagining her canoodling some scumbag. I sometimes drove by her work, but I never had the balls to go in and confirm my suspicions.
Eventually, I decided to sit Shana down and have a long, serious talk. And by that, I mean I fabricated an elaborate lie. I told her about my twin brother, Eric. Naturally she wanted to know why I hadn’t told her about him before. Faking tears, I explained that he’d been in and out of jail. She seemed to like bad boys, so I knew that’d spark her interest. I told her a sob story about how my mom had cut him out of our family photos, how everyone thought he was a bad egg, and how I wanted to protect her from him. She consoled me, but I could see a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. My trap was set.
One night, I put on a leather jacket, applied hair gel, and went out searching for Shana. I “coincidentally” bumped into her at the park where she liked to jog. I puffed my chest out proudly, taking on Eric’s confident stance, and half-heartedly apologized for ramming into her. Using a slightly deeper voice and different mannerisms, I acted as though we had never met. She lit up, immediately guessing that I was my made-up twin brother. She seemed to like how bold and fearless Eric was, so I put the moves on her right then and there. She fell head over heels for me. With that, she and ‘Eric’ started dating in secret.
Eric was the kind of guy that I had always wanted to be: slick, smooth, and assertive. He was an adrenaline junkie, and never afraid to speak his mind. He wore clothes I’d never be caught dead in: plenty of leather, tight t-shirts, rocker bracelets. He was a living, breathing stereotype, and playing his role made me feel alive. I was a quiet guy who liked to stay at home and read, but he liked to party and do crazy shit.
I discovered a new side of Shana thanks to Eric, and fell in love with her all over again. It was funny to see how different our regular dates were compared to the ones with Eric. Shana was more adventurous and exciting than I could have ever imagined. As Eric, we did awesome stuff together: we went skydiving, we rented motorcycles, we went to concerts, and we tried a bunch of kinky stuff in bed.
Knowing I was satisfying both Shana’s sense of adventure, and her quieter, intellectual side, I was finally able to let go of my worries and paranoia. I had Shana all to myself, and it was fantastic. Life was great, and I bought a ring so I could propose to her on our anniversary this weekend. She’d probably break things off with Eric once we got engaged, so I made a commitment to myself to try and be a little more like Eric from now on.
Last night, all my plans went up in smoke. Shana was working late, but she and Eric didn’t have a date scheduled, so I assumed she was actually working for once. It was nice out, so I decided to pass the time by taking a nice little stroll around town. As I walked by the large windows of a quaint Italian restaurant, my world came crashing down around me: Shana was playing tonsil-hockey with another man. I watched from the street as the dark-haired stranger ran his hands up and down her back. A mix of despair and anger twirled around in my gut. Had I not been enough for her? Had Eric not been enough?! I had given her everything she could have wanted. What she couldn’t do with me, she did with Eric. There was no reason for her to go outside our relationships. I had invested so much time, and STILL she was cheating on me. But that wasn’t even the most disturbing part…
The man’s eyes turned towards me as he was making out with my girl. Shana, who had her back to the window, was obscuring his face. Very slowly, he pulled away from my woman, and tilted his head towards me. A devious smirk stretched over his lips as he looked towards me. His cold and amused eyes were proclaiming victory over me. I felt my knees buckle at the incomprehensible sight before me: it was Eric.