By Chef JohnAshton07
I can still remember the day I first heard his voice. There was an airiness to it. The tone was always deep and warm, and caused butterflies to hit my stomach at full speed.
“Hey, let’s go to the park.” He would say.
“Not right now, I have to work.” I would respond. He was always so insistent, though, I would always cave in sooner or later.
I still remember the first time he yelled at me. The deep booming voice overpowered everything and I fell to the ground holding my hands over my face. How could he say such hurtful things to me?
“You are nothing without me! You are pathetic! Why don’t you just leave, no one wants you around! I can’t believe you, sometimes I wish you would just die already!”
I still remember every word of that fight. He got mad out of nowhere; I still don’t know what set him off. It might have been that I was ignoring him. He talks all the time and I have to get work done sometime, but I learned not to ignore him for too long. He really does love me, I know he does. He just gets angry when I ignore him.
“Let’s go to the park.”
For a grown man with such a deep voice, he really enjoys going to the park. I think he likes seeing other people, especially the kids playing. He always wants to stop and watch them. He likes to see the women too, especially the pretty brunettes. If I was a jealous type I would think he was lusting after them, but I know he loves me more.
“Look at the rack on that one! I wonder if she looks that good without make-up. Why couldn’t you be more like her?”
“That is kind of mean, why would you say that?”
“Look at her! And look at you! If it weren’t for me you would be all alone with a face like that. Let’s keep walking I don’t want them to have to look at you. We should go home.”
He says some mean things, but I don’t know, he loves me. I know he does or he would have left a long time ago.
“I have changed my mind, let’s go back to the park.” He announced about half way back to the apartment. “I want to find that lady again.”
“Are you… are you serious?”
“Fuck yes I am serious. Get moving! You go where I tell you to! How dare you talk back to me! Who else is going to take care of you when I fucking leave!?”
“I am sorry, you are right.”
Upon re-entering the park we searched around for the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen. He did see another one he liked, though. He took me up to her and introduced me.
“Yes?” The woman said.
“Hi, this is random I know, but would you come with me to the swings?”
“Umm, no.” the woman announced before turning to walk away.
“Grab her! Grab her now!” He said to me.
“Don’t fucking talk back to me! Grab her now!” He said, his voice booming loud enough that I instantly got a headache. I did not dare disobey him again, so I grabbed her arm.
“What the fuck!? Get off of me you freak!” The woman said trying to pull away.
“Stab her! End her! She just called you a freak. FREAK! FREAK!” He said yelling into my ear.
“What the hell? No please… don’t do this! Help!” The woman yelled, but it was too late. I plunged a knife from my pocket into her chest, and repeated it over, and over, and over. As her blood flowed from her chest I could hear my love laughing.
“You did it now, you are going to jail! You are going to jail! No one will love you in there. No one loves you out here.”
The police woman must have heard the scream from the street, it was too soon for anyone to have called 9-1-1. She grabbed the knife from my hand and threw me to the ground. As she put the cuffs on me I kept yelling for him to stop screaming.
“You are going to jail, you are a freak, FREAK! No one loves you anymore. No one ever did.”
“You are under arrest, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one they will be appointed to you. Do you understand this, you insane motherfucker?”
“I am not insane! Stop yelling at me!” I said struggling to pull my hands free.
“You are going to jail! FREAK! You are a FREAK! No one loves you, you should probably die.”
I still remember the first time I heard his voice. It was airy, and deep. He told me that only he loved me. He was so kind. If only someone else could hear his voice, I know they would understand.